dundee international women’s centre

Impact Story: How two sisters from Nairobi beat the odds

10 October 2017 by diwc-admin Leave a Comment

Shani is from Nairobi, Kenya. She moved to Dundee in 1995 with her parents, brother and sister, Dalila, who has multiple physical disabilities. Her parents both later returned to Kenya, leaving Shani as Dalila’s main carer.

Dalila has been coming to the Centre for many years, having been referred by her social worker. She is an enthusiastic learner in the art class. She made friends within the group and got to know a lot of the staff, gaining confidence as time went on. Shani started coming to an employability course but always seemed less willing to talk.

A chance to tell their story

Then DIWC started Chit Chat, a new, informal group for women to get together and talk. The staff facilitator said:

“I had seen Shani and Dalila around the Centre before, we would say hello in passing. I noticed that Dalila always seemed happy and ready to chat, but Shani looked sad and quiet. She usually looked down, didn’t make eye contact and only spoke when I spoke first. When both sisters signed up for Chit Chat, I was really happy.

We had a hot drink and a slice of cake and I asked the group to introduce themselves and tell us whether they felt that DIWC was giving them what they need. One learner said ‘yes, definitely’, while the sisters both stayed quiet, looking at each other. I noticed their body language looked very agitated.

I reassured them that if there is anything at all they wanted to discuss, whether in the group or one-to-one, I was happy to take the time to listen and would do my best to support them. They said they’d just like to talk and the other learner there was happy with that, so they told their story.”

The sisters started to talk about the challenges they faced throughout their lives. Shani said that growing up in Kenya had been incredibly tough because they were poor and attitudes towards Dalila’s disabilities were very negative. Their mother had to fight hard to get her what treatment and help she could.

Finding inner strength

Then their Dad moved to UK to see if there were better job prospects, bringing his family to Dundee in July 1995. At school, they faced barriers because of their race, culture, clothing and difficulty speaking English. Shani and Dalila found it hard to fit in the community.

The challenges were intense, we didn’t have any friends or family in Dundee, so there was no support.

Tragedy struck in 2015, when their mother became ill and passed away and then, at the beginning of 2017, their father died too. This left the family in tatters, with the three siblings left to manage together. Because they were all over 18, they were classed as adult and independent.

Shani and Dalila had to grow up quickly and learn to deal with the outside world. While Dalila got quite a lot of support through social services because of her disabilities, Shani never asked for help.

Shani had always looked out for her sister and brother, taking responsibility for caring which means that she ignored her own emotional needs. Once she expressed this, the staff member asked if she would like to find out about the help available to her. A bit of research found the Penumbra Dundee Carer Centre and contact was made.

Creating hope for the future

Now DIWC and Penumbra are working in partnership to support the sisters to build a social and support network. Shani and Dalila both come along to Chit Chat and other classes at DIWC, and Penumbra offer to keep Dalila company while Shani takes time out for herself to go to the gym and study for the childcare qualification which she has started at the Centre. She says:

I needed help. Nobody had ever asked about me before.

Names in this story have been changed to protect the people’s identity.

Impact Story: How Balgeis created a better life for her daughters

3 October 2017 by diwc-admin 3 Comments

Starting again in a foreign country that speaks an unfamiliar language is tough. Doing so as the mother of five young girls is even tougher. That’s the challenge Balgeis faced. Her husband, Salim, was starting a PHd. at the University of Dundee which meant uprooting the family from their home in Benghazi, Libya.

Fear of the unknown

Balgeis was excited, but understandably apprehensive. A classic case of fear of the unknown. She’d experienced Europe while visiting with her father on business trips, but she’d never been to Scotland. For Balgeis, this was an opportunity to give her daughters the best possible start in life – an opportunity to have an education that will set them up for the future.

Balgeis heard about Dundee International Women’s Centre (DIWC) through a friend of her husband’s.

I was told that DIWC was very good and that I’d get the chance to learn and meet new people at the centre. It was more than I expected. I felt very welcome.

Determination to learn

Speaking to Balgeis today, it’s hard to imagine that seven years ago, she spoke no English. She grew up in Libya at a time when relations between the West and her homeland were at an all-time low. All reference to the West was cut out of the Libyan school curriculum, including learning English. English books were burned as the US and the UK tightened sanctions as a result of the Lockerbie tragedy.

The politics and conflict cost a complete generation the opportunity to develop their English speaking skills. Taking the English for Speakers of Other Languages (ESOL) course was the crucial first step on her journey. It was hard, but she was a determined student.

With her new found English skills, Balgeis embraced the opportunities. She enrolled in a number of different classes. She got creative with art, got practical skills in sewing class and she learned new cooking and baking skills.

Although, it’s fair to say that, when it comes to culinary skills, Balgeis is as much a teacher as she is a student. She’s shared with the women of DIWC the wonders of traditional Libyan and north African cooking.

Motivation to help people

It’s a sign of Balgeis’s character that she wasn’t satisfied with her English skills. She wanted to take them to the next level. Taking the English for Life class gave Balgeis the opportunity to improve her English skills by building on her ESOL qualification.

It also gave her the opportunity to help more people, which is such a core part of what motivates her. She demonstrated this, when after two years as a user of the Centre, she asked if she could become a volunteer at DIWC.

As a volunteer Balgeis has helped women, just like her, find their feet in Dundee. Women, who, due to circumstances beyond their control, have found themselves alone and isolated in a country whose language they can’t understand, let alone speak. She helps these women settle in the city by sharing advice based on her own experiences.

Her English speaking skills have developed so well that she now acts as translator for many Arabic speaking women. And it’s not just translating from English to Arabic, by virtue of her Syrian mother, she’s ideally placed to help translate from Syrian Arabic to other variants of Arabic. She’s used this to help a number of Syrian refugees access the services they need to settle in the area.

That might mean helping them understand letters from the council, schools, utility companies or doctors. It can even be helping them understand and select the right mobile phone tariff – something that’s challenging enough for people that speak English.

A pillar of the community

She’s become a prominent figure in the Arab community, and that extends beyond Dundee. Each Saturday morning she travels to Edinburgh as a volunteer to teach English and maths to children and young adults.

All the while, she encourages them to retain their Arabic speaking skills. Balgies is passionate about this point. For her, learning English and embracing the culture of the country you live in is important, but it shouldn’t be at the cost of their own heritage.

For the young especially, having both English and Arabic language skills gives them something that Balgeis and many of her generation didn’t have – choice. If they want to return to the country of their birth, they need to have command of Arabic.

Inspiring confidence in women

Balgeis is an inspirational woman with a warm and welcoming personality. She’s given so much to the Arab community since arriving here for the very first time. Balgeis’s focus now and for the future is to simply help more people in any way she can. She thrives on it. It’s her mission. And, we’re delighted that she remains committed to DIWC. She adds so much to what we at the centre.

We asked Balgeis what her experience at DIWC has given to her. She paused and thought about it for a long time, and then, she summed it up in one word – “confidence”. And, that confidence is something she wants more women to enjoy, especially her 5 daughters.

Impact Story: How Dilsa achieved her dream to work with children

3 October 2017 by diwc-admin Leave a Comment

A journey from Iraq to Dundee

Dilsa came from the Iraqi Kurdish community, which suffered appalling human rights abuses under Saddam Hussein’s regime. She never had the opportunity to go to school and couldn’t read or write.

She managed to escape to the Netherlands at 13 years old and came to Scotland a few years later. Dilsa faced a lot of barriers; she did not speak any English, her confidence was low and her three small children tied her to the house. She felt very lonely and couldn’t see further ahead than the next day.

Then someone told her about DIWC. Dilsa felt so comfortable at the Centre she encouraged other Kurdish women to come…

the Centre helps me so much, they help everybody, I’m very happy there.

Dilsa’s dream to work with children

Dilsa’s dream was to work with children, so she applied to join the National Progression Award in Playwork and Childcare. Unfortunately, staff felt that Dilsa would not be able to manage the necessary written work, but she was determined and agreed a plan to continue with her English and IT classes and reapply the following year.

By that time, we knew that she would be able to cope, but Dilsa was unsure and, although she started the course, she felt shy in class and found it hard to contribute.

With the support of her friends and the DIWC staff, Dilsa kept going and was happy that she had. Her teacher said:

Dilsa threw herself into DIWC, she took every opportunity open to her and her determination was phenomenal.

As part of her course, she had a placement in the Rise and Shine Creche. Dilsa really impressed the staff with her hard work and interaction with the children…

She was so keen, ready to learn and motivated.

She achieved her goals

In 2015, Dilsa achieved her goal of passing the NPA and became a Childcare Support Worker at Rise and Shine. She says:

I never thought I would get a job in Dundee, my family ask me why I don’t go back to Holland, but I’m so happy now, I would never leave.

Dilsa’s tenacity and determination to learn, coupled with the support from DIWC has helped her achieve her goals. And, in doing so, she’s become a role model to the women in her community.

Names in this story have been changed to protect the person’s identity.

#WomenOfDundee: How Abeer found happiness in furthering her education

23 May 2017 by diwc-admin 1 Comment

Living under a regime where you are not allowed to talk about politics and where education is controlled can be harsh. So, you can see why a move to a country where freedom of speech is accepted and education for women is promoted is a way to find happiness and purpose. This is what Abeer found when she married and moved to Dundee, finding happiness in furthering her education.

Living under a regime

“Originally I am from Iraq. I have two sisters and a brother and I grew up in Bagdad.

I do not remember Iraq the way it is portrayed in the media. People would talk about the conflict in the country, the war between Iraq and Iran, but I grew up in a big house with a big garden, my father had a good job and we all had access to education.

While growing up I read books about my country and learned more about what was happening, which initially I was ignorant to. For example, I learned about the chemical attack which killed more than 5000 people including women and children in the North of Iraq. When all this happened I was at school having fun with my friends, totally unaware.

We weren’t allowed to talk about anything against the government in school. We had to support the President, Saddam Hussein. There was a poem we would read in school and we would go every week to raise the flag to honour him. On a Thursday we would wear army style clothes to pay respect to Saddam Hussein.

It was confusing as a child, for me, I was fourteen and of course, there were so many bad things happening but it was expected of us to support this man and his regime – so conflicted or not, I did. Of course, then, we had little access to news other than mainstream media. There was no access to the internet, social media or even foreign news channels like there is today.

Realising the truth

People would come and tell us horrors about the war but we never really believe them. It was so peaceful where we were and there was no way to prove otherwise.

My parents were scared to talk about the war and the government. They would act like everything was normal despite me hearing different things from my friends and neighbours. I heard that those who did not fight were hung to death. But my parents would lie about it as they feared for all our lives. If I noticed someone was missing or had died, my parents would tell me that it was a heart attack – but I would notice the family being scared.

When I was about 25 all my friends were getting married and having children. They pushed me to get married, would joke about me settling down, but I wanted to finish my Masters first. But this was to change as soon after I met my husband through close family friends.

Getting married and leaving home

My father arranged to meet an old friend of his in Jordan. As a family, we went along and my father’s friend brought his son along from the UK also – and this man became my husband!

My husband had lived in the UK since 1993. He was 13 years old when he came to Dundee and started high school here, so he has lived most of his life in Scotland. We got married in Leeds. I wasn’t happy in Iraq at this time so I didn’t mind coming to Dundee. The education seemed much better here than it was in Iraq.

We lived with my in-laws in Broughty Ferry -a beautiful place, but my in-laws told me to not go out alone or use the buses alone. My English wasn’t very good so I felt quite vulnerable too, but then I gained a little confidence and started going for English Classes at Mitchell Street.

I had my first child in 2004 at 27 years old. I was struggling after the baby to go to college to complete ESOL and couldn’t afford childcare, so we stayed with my in-laws. They looked after the baby so I could attend my classes. They were really generous and hospitable to us but for a growing family, a small single bedroom was getting a bit cramped. My husband and I saved some money and we bought our own house.

I believe happiness comes in many different forms. Some people get to find happiness in their families and some in their jobs. I have missed out on things but I cherish the things I have.

Finding a place to make new friends

I was feeling low and depressed after I gave birth to my third child. My midwife told me about Dundee International Women’s Centre, so with two kids in a double buggy and the other on my hip I set off to look for it.

The first day I came I could not find the centre and no one could give me directions. This was in 2008 and not many people knew about the centre back then. I had to go back the next day and I met Dana at the door – she could speak a little bit of Arabic – and I almost cried!

I was so happy to hear someone speaking my language. I had no friends here, my in-laws had since moved to Arbroath, and I was lonely and depressed so finding the centre was a big change for me. Everyone was so nice to me and my children and I was able to put them in the crèche so I could start English classes here.

New opportunities

I was then invited to try the childcare course and I decided to give it a go. At first, I found it really boring and I wondered if I was in the right place. I worried I would struggle to complete it, but, as it turned out I was really good at it. I got good grades and great feedback and in 2014 was offered a job in the crèche.

Sometimes I wish I had stayed in college or went back to University. I see my friends a lot on Facebook and I miss it. The lifestyle they have that I could have had. Maybe if I was not married I would be like them – my friends – winning awards and having great careers. But, I believe happiness comes in many different forms. Some people get to find happiness in their families and some in their jobs. I have missed out on things but I cherish the things I have.

Now that I am qualified childcare practitioner I am looking for other opportunities. I am thinking about maybe being a teacher assistant.

The future

I go back to Iraq every two years, but my family don’t come over here. They never have. There is a lot of paperwork to arrange their visas and that is expensive to do. The children love visiting Iraq. It is Summer all year round and our family is over there, but my husband’s job is in Scotland. He can’t go over without a job and house and things and it is still not really safe. I look forward to the next stage of my life and I will take things as it comes. Scotland have given me a lot and I am grateful to be here.”

Abeer Al Hussein #womenofdundee

#WomenOfDundee: How moving to the UK gave Ayda a chance to volunteer

3 May 2017 by diwc-admin Leave a Comment

Having lived and studied in Canada for 10 years, Ayda has now moved to Dundee and to help her settle she offered to volunteer at the DIWC sharing her IT knowledge. Read her story here…

Moving to a new country

I was born and brought up in Iran. My parents and brother still live there, but I moved to Canada at the age of early 20 and lived there for more than 10 years.

Growing up in Iran was amazing. It is a peaceful nation. Women are highly educated and treated equally, we drive and have our independence. That is not what the media portray about my country.

I did my Undergraduate in Iran where I studied Physics, but I moved to Canada because my husband got an admission there. After a while being in Canada, I decided to do my Masters in Geophysics. Adjusting to life here was not very hard as I kept myself busy studying and working. Also, my father treated me equally like my brother as he wanted me to have good education and career just like my brother. So I never felt the difference moving from a Middle Eastern nation to a western one, but I definitely miss my family and friends.

Making the most of learning

My husband and I were high school lovers. We were friends for a long time, then we became serious during the first year of University. In Iran when you complete high school you need to sit for an exam to enter the University. The exam is very hard. My boyfriend and I, at that time, were serious about taking the exam and waited until after passing it to take our relationship more seriously. I was only 17 at that time.

I believe that human being will always adapt to the changes they are going through.

A new life in a new country

My husband got a job transfer to England about 6 months back and we then made the move here. We wanted to try new adventures in life. I think Dundee is a great city. Sometimes I miss Canada. I feel like Canada is like my home since I was working and settled to

I think Dundee is a great city, but sometimes I miss Canada. I feel like Canada is like my home since I was working and had settled into life there. At the moment I do not have a job in Dundee and I miss my friends. However, the weather here is better than in Canada and it’s a nice city. I go back to Iran every now and then to visit my family too.

Finding my way through volunteering

I started coming to DIWC recently as I was looking for a volunteer opportunity and one of my friends introduced me to the centre. I now volunteer at the IT class. I enjoy helping people and I learn a lot through this process myself, so I am enjoying my time here.

I hope in the future I can get a full-time job. I hold a certificate in business as well but I am not sure which direction I will go in terms of looking for a job. I am keeping my options open to the opportunities available out there. I have a lot hopes for the future.

I believe that human being will always adapt to the changes they are going through. Life is sometimes hard. You can either fight it or learn to live with it. We have to keep fighting in life but not fight with things that are beyond our control.

Ayda #womenofdundee