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#WomenOfDundee: How Abeer found happiness in furthering her education

23 May 2017 by diwc-admin 1 Comment

Living under a regime where you are not allowed to talk about politics and where education is controlled can be harsh. So, you can see why a move to a country where freedom of speech is accepted and education for women is promoted is a way to find happiness and purpose. This is what Abeer found when she married and moved to Dundee, finding happiness in furthering her education.

Living under a regime

“Originally I am from Iraq. I have two sisters and a brother and I grew up in Bagdad.

I do not remember Iraq the way it is portrayed in the media. People would talk about the conflict in the country, the war between Iraq and Iran, but I grew up in a big house with a big garden, my father had a good job and we all had access to education.

While growing up I read books about my country and learned more about what was happening, which initially I was ignorant to. For example, I learned about the chemical attack which killed more than 5000 people including women and children in the North of Iraq. When all this happened I was at school having fun with my friends, totally unaware.

We weren’t allowed to talk about anything against the government in school. We had to support the President, Saddam Hussein. There was a poem we would read in school and we would go every week to raise the flag to honour him. On a Thursday we would wear army style clothes to pay respect to Saddam Hussein.

It was confusing as a child, for me, I was fourteen and of course, there were so many bad things happening but it was expected of us to support this man and his regime – so conflicted or not, I did. Of course, then, we had little access to news other than mainstream media. There was no access to the internet, social media or even foreign news channels like there is today.

Realising the truth

People would come and tell us horrors about the war but we never really believe them. It was so peaceful where we were and there was no way to prove otherwise.

My parents were scared to talk about the war and the government. They would act like everything was normal despite me hearing different things from my friends and neighbours. I heard that those who did not fight were hung to death. But my parents would lie about it as they feared for all our lives. If I noticed someone was missing or had died, my parents would tell me that it was a heart attack – but I would notice the family being scared.

When I was about 25 all my friends were getting married and having children. They pushed me to get married, would joke about me settling down, but I wanted to finish my Masters first. But this was to change as soon after I met my husband through close family friends.

Getting married and leaving home

My father arranged to meet an old friend of his in Jordan. As a family, we went along and my father’s friend brought his son along from the UK also – and this man became my husband!

My husband had lived in the UK since 1993. He was 13 years old when he came to Dundee and started high school here, so he has lived most of his life in Scotland. We got married in Leeds. I wasn’t happy in Iraq at this time so I didn’t mind coming to Dundee. The education seemed much better here than it was in Iraq.

We lived with my in-laws in Broughty Ferry -a beautiful place, but my in-laws told me to not go out alone or use the buses alone. My English wasn’t very good so I felt quite vulnerable too, but then I gained a little confidence and started going for English Classes at Mitchell Street.

I had my first child in 2004 at 27 years old. I was struggling after the baby to go to college to complete ESOL and couldn’t afford childcare, so we stayed with my in-laws. They looked after the baby so I could attend my classes. They were really generous and hospitable to us but for a growing family, a small single bedroom was getting a bit cramped. My husband and I saved some money and we bought our own house.

I believe happiness comes in many different forms. Some people get to find happiness in their families and some in their jobs. I have missed out on things but I cherish the things I have.

Finding a place to make new friends

I was feeling low and depressed after I gave birth to my third child. My midwife told me about Dundee International Women’s Centre, so with two kids in a double buggy and the other on my hip I set off to look for it.

The first day I came I could not find the centre and no one could give me directions. This was in 2008 and not many people knew about the centre back then. I had to go back the next day and I met Dana at the door – she could speak a little bit of Arabic – and I almost cried!

I was so happy to hear someone speaking my language. I had no friends here, my in-laws had since moved to Arbroath, and I was lonely and depressed so finding the centre was a big change for me. Everyone was so nice to me and my children and I was able to put them in the crèche so I could start English classes here.

New opportunities

I was then invited to try the childcare course and I decided to give it a go. At first, I found it really boring and I wondered if I was in the right place. I worried I would struggle to complete it, but, as it turned out I was really good at it. I got good grades and great feedback and in 2014 was offered a job in the crèche.

Sometimes I wish I had stayed in college or went back to University. I see my friends a lot on Facebook and I miss it. The lifestyle they have that I could have had. Maybe if I was not married I would be like them – my friends – winning awards and having great careers. But, I believe happiness comes in many different forms. Some people get to find happiness in their families and some in their jobs. I have missed out on things but I cherish the things I have.

Now that I am qualified childcare practitioner I am looking for other opportunities. I am thinking about maybe being a teacher assistant.

The future

I go back to Iraq every two years, but my family don’t come over here. They never have. There is a lot of paperwork to arrange their visas and that is expensive to do. The children love visiting Iraq. It is Summer all year round and our family is over there, but my husband’s job is in Scotland. He can’t go over without a job and house and things and it is still not really safe. I look forward to the next stage of my life and I will take things as it comes. Scotland have given me a lot and I am grateful to be here.”

Abeer Al Hussein #womenofdundee

#WomenOfDundee: Finding a place of learning and support for women by Maqsoodan

8 May 2017 by diwc-admin Leave a Comment

Finding a place of learning and support for women when moving to Dundee was important to Maqsoodan. She wanted to show her daughters that women have an important place in society and should encourage each other to grow and develop.

Moving to Dundee

I was born in Pakistan. My family migrated to Glasgow when I was about 3 years old.

I grew up in Glasgow and stayed there until I got married, 30 years ago. I moved to Dundee because my husband was based here. I like living in Dundee and the Asian community here is very strong. There was also a big Asian community in Glasgow, a close-knit one, but we did not live as part of the community – we lived on the outskirts of the city.

My parents were married for over sixty years. I have three brothers and I am the only girl in the family. It was hard growing up with three boys, I would have liked a sister, but we were very close siblings, maybe less close now because they all live in Glasgow. We all have our own families, with our own children and responsibilities.

Freedom to choose

My parents never enforced religion on me and my siblings. They let us choose what we wanted in our life. They were religious and they had strong morals but they did not force that on us. I was always a Muslim by birth, but now I choose to be a Muslim. I didn’t always wear a hijab, I only started wearing it about ten years ago. We started the Qur’an class in my house, a group of us got together with a teacher to study the Qur’an word to word in Urdu.

I got married at the age of 27. Nowadays, girls are studying or working but in the Asian community, 27 was considered a late age to get married. I did not want to get married at an early age – I wanted to find the right person. Now I have 3 children, 2 daughters and a son.

When I left high school I did a diploma in teaching. I am the first in my family to go on to further education. I wanted to go to University and study Geography, but that would have required residential trips which I do not think my parents were keen on. Maybe I should have pushed harder but I was intimidated by four-year degree. Instead, I spent three years at college.

After graduation, I got a job as a full-time primary teacher at the age of 20 in Glasgow. None of my children have followed me into teaching but all 3 of them have been through higher education.

Finding a place of learning and support

I started coming to DIWC when it was on Lyon street. My oldest daughter was only 12 years old at the time. I wanted my girls to have a strong identity, I wanted them to feel empowered and have the opportunity to discover themselves. I wanted them to be interested in politics, current affairs and global issues in the wider world.

I found the girls group in DIWC was great. A lot of mums felt very comfortable with the centre and the staff. It was great having the Muslim community being involved in this group. Through that, I think my girls have progressed well in their lives. They have been involved in residential trips, hill walking, fundraising, art projects – to name but a few. Being involved in the girls group has given them confidence. Both my daughters said it helped them in university with presentations and public speaking. They both served on the board at DIWC before going on to other things.

A chance to give something back

I have been volunteering at the centre for the last 14 years. Volunteering has been very rewarding for me as I get a lot of satisfaction by giving back to the community.

I used to volunteer in the Bazorg group; the group for older women. I volunteered with this group because my mother became a member but she was not keen to stay at the group meetings on her own. It was a brilliant experience! They are such a laugh and I have great memories of my time there. Auntie Narinder, who sadly passed away recently is to this day one of my role models. My own mother passed away four years ago so I am now volunteering in another capacity with the beginners English class.

The future

I think in today’s world, full of conflict, women would rather solve problems by other means because we want a peaceful future for our children. Our children are our legacy and we need to empower each other for a great future for them. I think DIWC is unique that it allows us women to learn, support and encourage each other. People come here from all over the world and this organisation is willing to help anyone.

I hope the centre keeps going from strength to strength and is here for future generations. I believe that learning is a never-ending process and a day not spent learning is a wasted day. And what better way to learn than in an environment that is a melting pot of world cultures and beliefs.

Maqsoodan Arshid #womenofdundee

#WomenOfDundee: How moving to the UK gave Ayda a chance to volunteer

3 May 2017 by diwc-admin Leave a Comment

Having lived and studied in Canada for 10 years, Ayda has now moved to Dundee and to help her settle she offered to volunteer at the DIWC sharing her IT knowledge. Read her story here…

Moving to a new country

I was born and brought up in Iran. My parents and brother still live there, but I moved to Canada at the age of early 20 and lived there for more than 10 years.

Growing up in Iran was amazing. It is a peaceful nation. Women are highly educated and treated equally, we drive and have our independence. That is not what the media portray about my country.

I did my Undergraduate in Iran where I studied Physics, but I moved to Canada because my husband got an admission there. After a while being in Canada, I decided to do my Masters in Geophysics. Adjusting to life here was not very hard as I kept myself busy studying and working. Also, my father treated me equally like my brother as he wanted me to have good education and career just like my brother. So I never felt the difference moving from a Middle Eastern nation to a western one, but I definitely miss my family and friends.

Making the most of learning

My husband and I were high school lovers. We were friends for a long time, then we became serious during the first year of University. In Iran when you complete high school you need to sit for an exam to enter the University. The exam is very hard. My boyfriend and I, at that time, were serious about taking the exam and waited until after passing it to take our relationship more seriously. I was only 17 at that time.

I believe that human being will always adapt to the changes they are going through.

A new life in a new country

My husband got a job transfer to England about 6 months back and we then made the move here. We wanted to try new adventures in life. I think Dundee is a great city. Sometimes I miss Canada. I feel like Canada is like my home since I was working and settled to

I think Dundee is a great city, but sometimes I miss Canada. I feel like Canada is like my home since I was working and had settled into life there. At the moment I do not have a job in Dundee and I miss my friends. However, the weather here is better than in Canada and it’s a nice city. I go back to Iran every now and then to visit my family too.

Finding my way through volunteering

I started coming to DIWC recently as I was looking for a volunteer opportunity and one of my friends introduced me to the centre. I now volunteer at the IT class. I enjoy helping people and I learn a lot through this process myself, so I am enjoying my time here.

I hope in the future I can get a full-time job. I hold a certificate in business as well but I am not sure which direction I will go in terms of looking for a job. I am keeping my options open to the opportunities available out there. I have a lot hopes for the future.

I believe that human being will always adapt to the changes they are going through. Life is sometimes hard. You can either fight it or learn to live with it. We have to keep fighting in life but not fight with things that are beyond our control.

Ayda #womenofdundee

#WomenOfDundee: How her father’s support helped Narinder to become a lawyer

25 April 2017 by diwc-admin Leave a Comment

Growing up in a male-dominated environment, Narinder achieved something others would not have thought possible – becoming the first female lawyer in her village in 1968. But she couldn’t have done any of this without the support and sacrifices of her father. Read her amazing story here.

Born into a male favoured society

“The community where I grew up was very backward. Ladies did not go to school at that time. In 1935 my cousin was the only one in the family who was educated. Those days having a girl was a liability. My father told me that the moment the family finds out they are having a girl they would kill the baby when she was born. My father was against it and started preaching that if anyone does this in the village, then they wouldn’t be allowed to stay in the village.

My mother was a very beautiful lady, but I look more like my father. I was born with dark skin. At that time beauty was described as having fair skin. My Massi (mother’s sister) who visited my parents immediately after my birth, said to my parents what will they do with a dark skin girl like me? She suggested to my parents to kill me, but my father was furious and banned my massi from coming home. My father feared for my life.

Getting a good education

He cared for me and my sisters with lots of love and brought us up very well. He encouraged us to study and get an education. Society at that time was really backward and girls didn’t get an education, so we were very blessed to have this support from my father. I was really keen to study, so I started going to a district school where I travelled a long journey (on a horse) but only for a few days of the week. I was the first one to go to school and get an education in my family.

My father will remain my biggest inspiration in my life… and I will forever be grateful to him.

I completed my 10th grade in 1947 in Pakistan. During that time the partition between India and Pakistan happened. My family then moved to India. My father wanted me to become a doctor but getting into medicine then was really tough – there were no colleges or school where we lived; we didn’t even have any roads built yet!

Becoming the first female lawyer in my village

After a few years of moving to India, I got married. I always wanted to study. I was adamant that I want to get further education and get a qualification. My husband also encouraged me a lot to study further. So I did my BA (Bachelor of Arts) in 1954 and then LLB (Bachelor of Law) and became a lawyer. My husband was very helpful during this process.

I was the first lady in my district to become a lawyer and continued in this profession. During those days only men would become lawyers. But I took a challenge upon myself and I was determined to change this. When I went to court I was even addressed as “Advocate Saab” (Advocate Sir) which is how men are greeted, as there was no word to greet lady lawyers at that time and most professions were dominated by men.

My father – an amazing man

My father gave lots of sacrifice for the independence of India and during British Rule became an MLA (Member of Legislative Assembly). He is the reason I have achieved so much in my life and I will forever be grateful to him. He had a lot of stamina and was very intelligent despite limited education. He will remain my biggest inspiration in my life. I would have loved to write a book about him.”

Narinder Kaur #womenofdundee

#WomenOfDundee: Delivering employability training to women of DIWC

27 March 2017 by diwc-admin Leave a Comment

#WomenOfDundee: Delivering employability training to the women of Dundee

Alison Tsosh shares her background and family life, and how she came to work with the DIWC as the Employability & Accredited Training Officer, helping women from all cultures and backgrounds settle into working life within Dundee. She is responsible for delivering employability training to the women, which includes CV applications, interview skills, placements/work experience and much more.

My early years

“I was born and brought up in Dundee. I went to Whitfield Primary School and finished my education at Kirkton High School. Having grown up in Whitfield until I was ten, I then moved to Kirkton and lived in the Clepington Road area most of my adult life.

I have a daughter who is 25 – we have a really close relationship and she still lives at home with me. Her father and I split up when she was 2 so I brought her up as a single parent. I am very proud of her and her achievements. I also have a partner now – we have been together for four years.

Of my two sisters, my older sister passed away and my younger sister lives in Fife. Our mum died when I was just 10, so I grew up with my father and stepmother. I have step brothers and sisters as well – in total, there is seven of us!

How I ended up in an administration role

When I first left school I wanted to do hospitality and catering. However, that course didn’t begin until September and I had left school in May. So, I needed something to do during the summer months. The only course that was running at that time in the college was a secretarial course, so I thought “I will do that in the short term”.

My first placement was in the office of a Weavers Mill, in Dundee. It was all administrative tasks and I really enjoyed it. I had hated administration at school but I found that I really enjoyed this placement. My next placement was at a wheelchair factory and I started there when I was about 19. I then moved into the training sector and ever since I have worked in training and employability.

I worked with a company called Rathbone for 12 years then moved to work at Claverhouse where I worked for 16 years. I thought I would be there until I retired, however, they went into liquidation in 2015. That was a total shock. I suddenly found my self without a job – I had never been unemployed in my life – it was a total panic.

Offering employability training to women at the DIWC

That was in the May of 2015 but then an advertisement for a DIWC pilot employability project came to my attention. I needed to do something as I hated being out of work, so I came to the centre. I had heard of the centre before, I knew it existed and I also knew something of its history, but I didn’t really know what happened here.

While here for the 14 weeks position, I learned so much. The women would tell me how much they learned from me, but I learn just as much from them. I always thought it was only for Muslim women, but it is women from all over the world and women from Dundee too.

The funding for the project was only available until September so I had to leave DIWC and found a position with Learn Direct for six months. That company was connected to my old employers so it was familiar ground.

DIWC eventually secured funding for a longer period of time for the employability class so I was able to come back and have been here since.

The job I do now is very similar to the job I used to do, but before I worked with mandatory clients; people who had to look for work or have benefits sanctioned, whereas the women I work with now are here because they want to be – so it’s really rewarding.

In my free time, I like to go out socialising, eating, cooking and going to the movies. I used to do cake decorating, but I don’t have much time for hobbies now – I don’t know how I ever did!

In the future, I like to think I will ideally be here or somewhere really similar until I retire – watching people succeed. I have always gotten satisfaction from watching people succeed. I would like to retire… I always used to say after I turned 40 I would go part-time but it never happened.

Every day something interesting happens. I hope to work with the centre for as long as I can.”

Alison Tsosh #womenofdundee